It was the lowest point in my life. I had lost so much in such a short amount of time. I had gone from someone who believed in a hopeful future to someone who was hopeful just to make it through each day; nevermind a future. I was shamed and left unsupported. I had broken … More When You Prayed Against Me
I circle back to this picture quite often. The very moment my daughter and I became legal strangers to one another. My mom said it was a blessing and God’s will. Somehow she managed to look through the lens of a camera and see a hopeful future rather than the destruction of her own daughter … More Do You See My Family?
*This is the third part of a series I am doing for my own personal journey and healing. All parts in this series will be linked back to the introductory post here: God and Adoption: The Series. I grew up in the Church and for nearly 10 years of my adult life, I studied scripture daily. … More Part 3: The Handmaid’s Tale and Modern Adoption Practices
I lost my daughter to an unnecessary adoption in the 1990s. Unnecessary is an understatement. I was still a teenager, but very competent. I was an honor student with a scholarship in my freshman year of college. Due to unforseen events- such as a car wreck, job loss because of the car wreck, and abandonment … More What Could Have Kept My Family Together?
February 24, 199x This would be the only appointment my mom would attend. I was a week overdue. I had spent the last month preparing myself to let go. I would practice in my room at night holding my baby and handing over my baby. That way when the day came, I could mentally checkout, … More A Birth Mom Story: Your Daily Dose of Adoption Porn
I’m at an age where people my age are starting to lose their children to death- disease, accidents, addictions, suicides, etc. With their social media posts, their grieving, their pictures, all of which I believe are necessary and healthy coping mechanisms…I was denied the right to any of this. I never got to grieve my … More I Never Got to Grieve You
Like many Americans searching out various ways to survive the emotional rollercoaster of both a pandemic and political turmoil; I have used binging tv shows as a crutch. One that I was avoiding, but due to rave reviews, finally decided to watch is “The Queen’s Gambit.” No spoilers. I’m only three episodes in myself. I … More The Power of Mother
I had never read, until this week, the “Surrender of Rights” paperwork that I signed over 20 years ago terminating my parental rights to my first child. According to my state’s laws, neither I nor my child can get a copy of them either. In the State’s eyes, I no longer exist as her mother, … More Adoption and Terminating Parental Rights on Hospital Beds
My dad was a huge WWII history buff. On occasion, he would regale us with some event that intrigued him in his studies. A story I remember vividly due to the sheer needlessness of such a tragedy, was that of the mothers who bashed in their babies and threw them off the cliffs of Saipan. … More When You Call Me Brave
We see the conflation often between Abortion and Adoption. It is difficult to discuss Family Preservation (helping a mother keep and parent her baby rather than place for adoption) when opponents use abortion as a red herring; “Would you rather these women have abortions?!” This is a knee-jerk emotional response based on zero facts. There … More Stop Conflating Abortion and Adoption