About Moi?

*I have made posts more accessible by subject matter. Go to the Menu bar and choose “Topics” or just click here.

Why Velvet Bocephus? It is literally one of my greatest regrets in life. My hubs and I were on our way to the beach. We passed a yard sale and saw Hank Jr. himself painted in velvet. So eager to begin our vacation, we ditched the chance at owning the most magnificent piece of artwork either of us has ever seen.  Sure I’ve searched for it on Ebay. I’ve come across the vast Velvet Jesus collections, but there was something truly captivating about ol’ Bocephus. For a while, we used it as our trivia name. We retired it when “The Walking Dead” came to our town and we couldn’t pass up the chance of combining the show title with “Dead Poet’s Society.” So, Bocephus gets a new shot at life in a blog.

Oh, more about me? I am a rambler, obviously. I am an over-thinker. I am also a mom who frequently self-deprecates (not with an “f”). I have a sense of righteousness that I try to mold into a more Godly fashion rather than self-styled. I have a sense of justice that I have to put on a leash frequently. I have deep regrets. I’m talking deep y’all. So, I also prefer anonymity, because I don’t want to hold back on anything I say here. (The anonymity preference may change in the future)

Mostly, I think I’m more interested in your comments because I love ideas. I love the human perspective. I think I could’ve been a contender in many things in life had I not had certain things happen to me as a teenager which led me to a nearly paralyzing social anxiety. I’m sure those topics will be discussed in time. I feel like I’m an extrovert trapped in an introverts body. Maybe I should’ve had therapy years ago, but I’m pretty content with my life. I don’t need to be a world renowned architect when I get to stay home every day with my freakin awesome kids. Granted, I am here because my kids can’t discuss Hayek vs Keynes yet. Maybe someone out there can.

26 thoughts on “About Moi?”

  1. Just finished reading your excellent piece on
    why adoption isn’t biblical. The piece was
    attributed to another woman until it was
    realized her child wasn’t old enough because
    you had surrendered 17 yrs prior.
    As a BIRTHMOTHER & adoptive mother,
    I have to say your piece presented adoption
    in a non biased & rational way.
    Thank you

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  3. As an adopted person (infancy– in the Baby Scoop era) who has had a marvelous life, I read your piece with interest. I am eternally grateful for the love of my adoptive parents, however I have always wanted to tell my mom and dad that they made a great choice, because I’ve imagined the type if snguush you describe.

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      2. It can be Velvet or Velvet Bocephus. Anonymous blog- it’s part of that “lose your voice” thing from the post.

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  5. I just read your articles , it is spot on and that what I said to the mother of our son ” why create a short-term solution for a long-term problems , especially to our son ” .
    But sadly she want ahead a gave our son away without my consent .

    Took me 432 days to find my son , been fighting for him and will never give up , till his rights are respected .

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    1. I am so sorry. I think you’re the first father to comment. I wish more would speak. I also wish you the best with your child.

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      2. My previous msg. Was a typo error , I am sorry .

        I was going to say , thank you very much for your empathy , as in regards other father to why they don’t speak up , I don’t know .
        That said , look to statistic to how many father’s committed suicide regarding family issues ?
        The statistic is sad and mind blowing to how many father’s are so depressed and alienate and maybe you know , some feel shy to speak up , ego as well and end up by commitik

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      3. Thank you for this perspective. I do think men and women approach grief differently and this is something I will look into. Thank you.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. End up by committing suicide , I frankly had that idea going thru my mind , when i couldn’t find my son but I never did it , because I love my son and it will be double sadnesses for him to hear that his father did that .
        I am fighting for my son and I will never give up .

        Really appreciate reading your thought’s .
        Thanks

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      5. I think many of us battle with these thoughts. Suicide. But then is that more tragic that our child finds a grave? I think it’s so important to speak so we know we aren’t alone in this.

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    2. There are more fathers out there than anyone could possibly imagine. It’s so sad! ❤ Just know that there are also many fighting for change. If you are in Kansas, here is a petition that our organization has started to protect the natural right of fathers to parent their children. https://www.change.org/p/representatives-and-senators-of-kansas-ks-adoption-law-must-be-equal-to-protect-unwed-fathers-natural-right-to-parent-child/dashboard

      If you aren't in Kansas, try to find out the rules and regulations for your state's petition process. See if you can get something like this on a ballot there, so that individuals can vote on the issue and force change that way.

      Best of luck to every parent out there, who wants and loves their child(ren). ❤

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  6. I will keep speaking and I do admire people like you , who speak so eloquently for all us , regardless of genders , race , religion , political views ,…we are all in same boat .
    Thank you .

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  7. My Friend! I love your writings!! And only have one complaint. As an “old lady”, I’ve having trouble reading the light gray print. I just shared your post about the church because, even being a Birthmothersforjustice, I was once caught-up in that mindset. But been free for many, many years! Thank you so much for your words of wisdom!

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    1. Thank you. I’ve been meaning to revamp the page & give it a new look. I understand WordPress much better after a few years. I’ll keep font colors in mind😊

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  8. Working my way through everything you’ve written. It’s all so essential and incredibly spot-on. Thank you for being a voice for all of us. I’m testing out my own voice as well: 1angrymother.blog

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      1. Velvet. I am a birth mother now who decided to keep my twins, after having chosen an adoptive family in the early stages of my pregnancy. And then I started the search process again after pulling the plug on my original chosen family. In the end though, I just couldn’t get beyond the original heart break of my choosing a family that let me down, horribly, repeatedly. But thank God they did it then! My c eyes were opened wide! I never could choose another family. So, I’ve been parenting. My boy/girl twins are 2 months old now and I’m SO IN LOVE! I am however, struggling to stay afloat and therefore in my opinion, BEING THE BEST FOR THEM. ..MOSTLY FINANCIALLY. THEY NEED A LOT. I’M legally disabled so my income is little. But im making it. ..for now. But you mention linking me with resources. I could use those. I’m in North Carolina by the way. Email: Promodeln4u@yahoo.com or find me on fb AnGie Mitchell (capital G in there)

        I love your article. Wow! Eye opening! And I feel validated, finally.

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  9. I am journalist looking to cover adoption more responsibly and you are an expert and voice that has opened my eyes to many aspects of the process. I am currently working on a documentary and would love to talk with you on or off the record. If you have any interest I would love to tell you more about the project and see if you would like to be involved.

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  10. Velvet Bocephus,
    I have read many of your blogs and have yet to disagree. As an adoptee, I was separated from my birthmother as an infant. She fought incredibly hard to get me back, but lost to the courts. Her story was hidden from me my entire life until I finally grappled up enough faith to reach out and meet her. As a 21-year-old, I learned that my birthmother had been deemed a lost-cause and was taken advantage of due to her circumstances and false incrimination. I am a student and hope to use my educational ground to expose the modern-adoption consumerism and advocate for family preservation. I also aim to inform America that adoption is not biblical and expose the manipulation of scripture used to justify adoption-advocate’s pseudo-philosophies. I would love to hear more from you about your experience and opinions. I intend to make a change and would love for you to be an active part of my mission.

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    1. I would suggest you follow an organization called Saving Our Sisters. What you’re saying sounds a lot like their mission statement. Thank you for being here.

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